its the most wonderful time of the year

i know most people sing this song about christmas but FALL is by far the hap, happiest season of alllll! duh.

clearly.

pumpkin bread/coffee/donuts/beer (oh my!). apple crisp. apple picking. changing leaves. cool crisp running weather... whats NOT to like about fall!? (other than it ending and what comes after it... booooo). 

yesterday was a beautiful fall day and we spent it as a family apple picking with my brother, sister in law, and nephew, Ronan. apparently it was bring your kids apple picking day because everyone else in the world was there too. luckily i have a tall husband who was able to reach the apples way up high that no one else could reach (i guess people really obeyed the sign "do not climb or shake the trees"). and of course we enjoyed apple cider, donuts and apple spice cupcakes!

whats your favorite fall activities? i wish this season would last all year long!!

henry: four months!

weight
we go to the doctor next week so we will find out then, but according to my scale henry weighs between 15 and 16 pounds!

health
still doing well. his next nephrology follow up appointment is at the end of the month. i dont think he has any ultrasounds until 6 months so im not quite sure what they will tell us at this appointment. henry is still taking bactrim (switched from amoxicillin at 2 months). bactrim tastes terrible compared to the amoxicillin (ist supposed to be grape flavored, and yes i tried it) and henry has started making faces and spitting it out. it makes medicine time lots of fun to fight with. but, happy and healthy is all we can really ask for.

clothes
henry has long legs like daddy and a long torso like mommy, so needless to say clothes of all sizes fit him in different ways. feety pajamas are a nightmare (but a necessity since the kid wont keep socks on his feet and im still terrified to put a blanket in bed with him). different brands of clothes also fit differently... he still fits into a select few 3 month onesies, and is mostly in 6 months of certain things and 9 months of others. im so sad to part with all the things he doesnt fit into anymore (any maybe even only wore once! if that!) i pulled out a bunch of things that we used to love putting him in (and used to be big on him!) and they look ridiculously tiny. i miss little baby henry!!! just for fun i put the outfit on him that we brought him home from the hospital in... well i tried anyway:

dont think it fits anymore, mom...

sleep
still a super sleeping rock star! (knock on wood) bed time starts around 8pm every night... change of clothes, new diaper, lotion, book or songs, then in the crib with maurice, turn on the mobile, nightlight, and sheep sound machine and he is out within 10 minutes (they need to make mobile songs last longer, we have to go in at least 3 times to wind the damn thing up!). he will start to stir around 5:15 or 5:30. 6 at the latest, but just lays there and sucks his thumb until we go in. (he has slept through the night since about 9 weeks, with only one night where he woke up wanting to feed at 1am a few weeks ago. im feeling very lucky, as i know a few moms with kids his age who are still waking once, if not twice, a night for feedings). naps during the day have been less consistent, usually one short one the in morning and a longer one during the afternoon. lately he has been fighting naps big time. i might just be busy and not notice how long he actually sleeps but i always feel like he will only take 3 hour naps when im at work (he NEVER takes a 3 hour nap when im home!) i also got him to successfully take a 1 hour nap in his crib. we'll continue working on this.

crying
henry apparently cried two days straight when my mom was babysitting and my dad was holding him. sorry about that! (we definitely think he is teething) i know were really really lucky, but this kid rarely cries. (oh, but earlier this week we went out for a run in the stroller... i had my headphones on and when i stopped at a mile and pressed pause, he was waaaaaaaaaaailing. haha oops)

milestones
rolling over! the day after his 3 month blog was posted henry finally made the first official roll. his arm was still stuck underneath him, but it didnt prevent him from being fully on his belly. we have yet to make the move from belly to back.

duke was anxiously awaiting the big roll

i did it! what now?? ill just suck on my hands.

and then sometimes he tries to roll over and gets stuck (of course i take pics first before helping)

we have tried to transition to the medium flow bottle nipples (the box says 3+ months) but he wants nothing to do with them and spits it all out. hes talking a lot now and has laughed a few times, but mostly he just has this huge grin on his face with no sound (and lots and lots of drool!)

henry also has discovered his feet!

baby gear love
the bumbo seat! we've come a long way from when i first tried him in it-

just over 2 months old

almost outgrowing it!

grammy nappi also bought henry a new fun play seat and an alphabet mat for her house!

ill give you one guess who changed the letters around...

can we spell m.a.t.u.r.i.t.y?

and of course i am loving the B.O.B. the ride is so smooth to run with, henry seems to enjoy it- he usually stays awake for awhile but is always sleeping by the time we get back home. rotating the front wheel is super easy (you lock it when youre running and unlock it when walking) and allows for quick turns when walking and maneuvering through stores. its also super easy to take down and store, and has a nice storage space underneath. (we had the car seat attachment for the first few months for walks but he sits well in it now the regular way. we also got the console addition for the handle bar for drinks, keys, phone, etc. which is great)

outings

first official run with the B.O.B. stroller 

(and many many more to come!)

olive garden

they gave us a baby sling to put him in... didnt quite understand that the car 

seat was supposed to go in it, not just the baby. fail.

llbean

diapers
a lot of people told me that the medium sized g diapers could potentially be big enough to get henry through potty training... some of these are looking pretty small (we have a giant growing before our eyes!) but im not sure i really want to invest in the large size covers. i might look into a different brand that would be a bit bigger (etsy has a ton of cute shops), although the inserts we have will fit large covers so it might still make sense to stick with g diapers. he is almost growing out of the size 2 disposable diapers from target, we havent yet tried a size 3. ill need to look at the cost of buying a few more cloth diapers and see if its worth it. i dont mind the cloth diapers, it has its ups and downs. we've gotten used to it but it is still a bit more of a process.

diet
as of this past tuesday, henry is exclusively formula fed (deeeeep breath). my breastfeeding story is a whole other story in itself, but long story short i tried to stretch it out until today but it just wasnt in the cards. i gave him what i could for as long as i could, and for that i am grateful. im hoping the doctor will tell us we can start trying to feed him at our next appointment. we've been supplementing with enfamil gentlease formula since about 1 month (he was very gassy and this seemed to do the trick), and last month i found that hannaford had their own 360 brand of the same formula. for $10 less. i compared ingredients side by side and it looked like they were exactly the same so i thought why not (but the color of the formula was just slightly lighter...) with the change in formula he didnt poop for 4 days. then he had a massive one. and then it slowly but consistently turned to a green hard paste (think avacado or wasabi... sorry, TMI). it just didnt seem right, and he appeared to be straining when he was trying to go, poor buddy. so we switched back to enfamil. oh well, sorry for trying to save a buck kid. no private school for you (and get a job already, would ya!) last week i made/froze our own applesauce, pears, and peas (and let henry lick my fingers with the pear juice on it... he didnt hate it!) i also made some oatmeal cereal and we let him try a very watery bite... that didnt go so well.

what the f is this?!

yes ill be happy just feeding me a bottle thanks

likes

(im creative but not that creative. thanks for the help, julie!)

dislikes
taking his antibiotic, swallowing all the spit that pools in his mouth, nap time, and he doesnt always seem to be so into selfies with mommy (i would like to say this has nothing to do with the zillion of pics i take of him daily...)

other stuff
- i dont know how i have any hair left, i should seriously be bald (i knew people said your hair falls out after you have a baby but this is seriously ridiculous!)
- an email i sent to a few of my mommy friends the other morning read: "heres the most accurate description of motherhood... i ran last night when i got home from work. i didnt shower (and still havent). im having coffee and potato chips for breakfast in my sweatpants and hoodie, and making a "to do" list that i might just stare at all morning. winning." this is the majority of my days.
- i commend all you stay at home moms and single parents. i couldnt do it.
- daniel tigers neighborhood the other day was all about trying new things and "how do you know you dont like something unless you've tried it". anyone who knows me knows i wasnt ok with this episode. and hes an animated bear imitating mr. rogers. i already dont trust him. if he has a show about pickles, ill never let henry watch again!
- i love the look in henrys eyes when you can tell he is learning something
- i fully understand why my mom always wanted us to let her know where we were going when we left/wake her up when we got home

so hard to believe 4 months have gone by
we love you more and more every day, henry aaron!

i am the great corn-holio!

happy 4 months little man!

life changing moments

i first want to thank everyone for the really sweet messages left on my last post. the decision had been a long time coming and is just one of the many things that is allowing me to feel like im not drowning. i know that when i toe the line at mile 13.1 instead of mile 0 along the MDI course next month ill feel a bit of regret and sadness, but i will be back there again. ive said it before and ill say it a million trillion times... im blessed that i can run. so i will keep running...

buuuuut in other news, one year ago today...

...our lives were forever changed...

(and thank God for google... i took the blue test first and didnt know if it was negative or positive. winner. and then i had to take another one just to make sure). the doctors appointment three weeks later confirmed what we hoped was true...

i still find it odd that my maiden name is on this pic

it felt like it was forever from that initial test, all the ultrasounds and doctors appointments (and not to mention how many times i had to pee in a cup!) to the delivery date... and despite it feeling like an eternity, all of a sudden he was here in our arms. and he was (is) amazing.

he is by far the absolute best thing to ever happen to me (us). ever.

"there will be days..."

the song that goes "mama said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this my mama said" fits pretty perfectly here... (dont deny youre singing it now hehe)... but the quote i was going for was "there will be days when i dont think i can run a marathon, there will be a lifetime knowing that i have". the title of this blog post was the very same title i used back in october of 2009 on my very first marathon recap. i remember that day very well. i will never forget the feeling coming down that final half mile stretch knowing i was about to cross the finish line after 26.2 miles for the very first time. it was one of the hardest things i had ever done and i felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and joy.

awesome finish line photo courtesy of the bff

i thought my marathon experience would most likely be one and done... but starting on that very day a fire was lit inside me and i just kept running. i learned to love that distance, and have gone on to complete 7 more in the next few years, including becoming a marathon maniac (and henry even became a maniac before he was born!)

2011

2012

not all marathons have been great (cough cough around the lake ) and most of them have been cold and rainy or sweltering hot (why do we do this again?!). after working very hard last summer i achieved my (arbitrary) sub 4 goal, and followed it up two weeks later with a trip to the med tent post race. the marathon is a beast... you never know what the weather will be like and despite awesome training things might just not go your way. but you have to respect the distance. and i do.

that being said, my training for mount desert island marathon (oct 20th) started 4 weeks after giving birth. i had thought about taking 6 weeks off but my emotional status at that point in time warranted some sort of exercise needed just to keep me sane. ty came home from work one day and found me crying on the couch... "just go for a run" he said. and i did. one mile at first, fairly slow, but i felt like myself again. coming back was difficult and frustrating but i didnt give up. my first "long run" (7 miles!) was almost unbearable (thank you kristal for sticking next to me despite all my walking and complaining). but it all got better, and easier, and i felt good! (love those endorphins!)

i flawlessly made it through week 10 of a beginner training program, not missing one run (pretty easy when youre not working!) then i went back to work and the 4am runs returned. and the oppressive maine summer heat/humidity returned. and i started skipping some runs and cutting others short. and then days came that i looked like this:
  

you might think i had just come home from a run that didnt go well... no. that pic was taken before i even left the house. i know there are gonna be off days in training. 18 weeks is a long time. but throw in the fact that i work full time and have a newborn. sure, there could be more on my plate. i know people who work two jobs, have 18 kids, make pinterest projects, participate on the school board committee, train for ironmans... i kid, i kid... but i know i shouldnt be complaining. im just tired. and its taken its toll on me, on my life, on my family, and on my running.

the emotional struggle ive put myself through over the past few weeks has almost been unbearable. being a first time mom is both easier and harder than i thought, but i love every second of it. i think we might have the worlds easiest baby but that doesnt mean there havent been our own personal struggles. ive certainly put my family first over myself, and although theres nothing wrong with that, i know i need to take care of me too. part of that is marathon training... although i know running has been good for my emotional health (and certainly my physical health), i want to feel like i want to go for run, as opposed to i have to go for a run. if i want to stay and hang out with ty and henry, i dont want to feel bad for missing a run. my recent 15 miler went well but i had no desire to go any further. my 16 and 18 miler never happened. and i dreaded thinking about 20 miles. 

long story short, im no longer training for the marathon, and i feel really good about that decision. i feel like i can breathe again. a few weeks ago the directors of mount desert island announced the new half marathon option... it gave me an out. i had to check with kristal first (as it was my idea to convince her to sign up in the first place. way to go, what a good friend i am!) but shes had her own struggles too and i think she was secretly excited i asked her if she wanted to switch. sure we could slog through the miles and feel miserable, but like i said before- i respect the distance enough not to just do it just because. my love for the distance (and training??) will come back again. for now, im focusing on me and my family.