turning the page

todays run marked the end of week 12 of my marathon training plan. with just 6 weeks left to go, i feel like things are starting to really click into place. this is the third time i have used this training program, and this time around ive really tried to stick to the exact workouts it has called for on the days it says to do them (oh, thats how a training plan works? interesting...). in the past i have shuffled workouts around to fit my schedule (i mean.... life!) and the "oh it calls for sprints?... naaaaah" "18 miles? 12 seems good" mentality reared its ugly head once or twenty times. the first go around with this plan failed miserably, but that wasnt my fault. well, i guess the second go around with this plan really wasnt my fault either (although who signs up for a marathon in the end of july?! at night! barf, literally). i carried this plan into another marathon just a few weeks after the barf fest and finally got the sub 4 hour goal i had been training for, barely (3:58:14).

but i crossed the finish line with a smile on my face, and at the time that was all that mattered to me. i look back and think if i had only.... this, and if only i had.... that. smuttynose marathon (sadly no longer going to be an event) was a day ill never forget for many reasons. but its in the past, and i am anxiously looking towards what the future holds for me, and hoping i can again cross the finish line with a smile.

after last weekends 20 mile run, i came to the end of the weeks on the first two pages of the plan...

(i decided not to write all over the book this go around, but you can see all my previous fails)

i needed to turn the page for the rest of the plan, but i knew what was coming on those next two pages....

the end.

for many reasons, i dread thinking about the end of the plan. i know its still 6 weeks away, but i get nervous. my head asks a bunch of questions. my legs yell at me. i constantly think "what in the world are you doing?" 18 weeks is a really, really long time. but its coming to an end soon and i question whether im really ready.

i know im not ready, yet. but...

i turned the page. and i can now see the last day of the plan. may 11th. 41 days 17 hours and counting...

todays run was no easier on paper than any of the others on this plan, and the stupid weather were having here in maine (winter is still here... rain, cold, ice pellets....) forced me to do this run inside. on the treadmill. im no newbie to the treadmill, 39 of the 55 runs ive done over the past 12 weeks have been on the treadmill (ugh), but i have never gone farther than 14 miles, and i dreaded even thinking about doing 17 (well it ended up being 18 with a cool down mile). but once i started i felt so good, and this ended up being by far the best run i think i have had this entire training. i gained a lot of confidence with heart rate and pace, and just overall felt really good. a lot of people will say "well its easier to run on the treadmill, it does a lot of the work for you", etc etc... ive found that my paces out on the road are easily matching the work i have been doing on the treadmill, and i challenge anyone to run 18 on the treadmill and tell me how easy it is... 

this isnt a supposed to be a blog post to brag about my stupidity or how insane i am (i think i make all of that pretty clear in person if you know me well enough). turning the page of this book... seeing the work i have put in, the progress i have made, and the work i have left, is a big point in the training plan. my head wasnt in it earlier this week, but good runs towards the end of the week and time on the road (outside!) with the bff helped clear my mind. whether or not my ultimate goal is reached at the end of these 18 weeks, i know that i have really worked hard to get to both the starting line and the finish line of the race. ive run over 500 miles so far this year, and 215 miles for the month of march (marks the highest month i have ever had... 200.13 miles in june 2012) and i feel like i am stronger than ever. (i should probably get my head checked...)

but, i turned the page. and i can see the end. and im excited.

(please excuse the swearing from a few years ago)