i am a runner.

prior to this post back in november, my blog was all (well mostly all) about running. i am many things... a strong woman, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a soon to be mother... but i also am, and forever will be, a runner. i havent been able to run in over a month, and to say that i miss it would be a huge understatement. the strength i have gained from running... physically, emotionally, mentally... cannot be measured. ive toed the start line of over 80 races, 8 of which were a distance of 26.2 miles, and have certainly spectated many on top of that.

i was not physically in boston on monday for the 117th running of the boston marathon, but i was there in spirit. i knew many people running, and many more spectating. ty and i had gone down to the sox game sunday, but i figured that monday would be too long of a day on my feet being 8 months pregnant, and decided against staying. instead i worked and had text updates coming to my phone about friends running, reaching marks along the course. sarah and i had gone down in both 2010 and 2011 to spectate, both times standing at mile 26.1 on the left side of boylston cheering on thousands of runners just prior to the finish line.

i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i havent quite figured out how to process yet. there are a lot of "what if's" running through my head. what happened on monday is an unthinkable tragedy that hits too close to home. never once in any of the races i have run have i ever felt unsafe. it sucks to think that nothing is safe anymore. i still cannot wrap my head around all of it and what kind of world i am about to bring my unborn child into.

but i will not stop running. and i will not live in fear. the heroic stories help remind us that the good still outweighs the bad. i have never run boston, and it actually hasnt been on my "bucket list", believe it or not. but i cannot wait to train for and run my next marathon in october. as part of a community, us runners stick together and rise above when things get tough. we pick each other up when we are down, and we never give up. running a marathon, or any race distance for that matter, is an incredible feeling of accomplishment, and it is something that i will continue to enjoy, yet never in the same way again.

my heart goes out to all who ran the race... those who finished, those who didnt finish, those affected by the explosions, and those who lost their lives/family members that day.