confession: i havent been following my marathon training plan quite as accurately as it is printed in this nifty neato little book ive got here.
excuse #1: sometimes the book gets lost in the midst of moving boxes and random crap scattered around the new house
truth: i might sleepwalk and hide it so when my alarm goes off in the morning i dont know where it is and just figure its probably only a 5 miler, easy pace
actual truth: its sitting on my table. with a book mark.
excuse #2: my legs are tired.
truth: i dont stretch as much as i should, i work 12 hour days and its tough to get long miles in, etc.
actual truth: im lazy.
excuse #3: i just dont think i can do it.
truth: i really just dont think i can run this much.
actual truth: im scared.
ive done the maine marathon twice. both times the training has gone out the window for one reason or another. the first year it was ITband isues. and i ran reach the beach two weeks before. i was very injured but i still ran the marathon. in 4 hours 43minutes and 13seconds. not smart. recap here.
last year i nearly got heat stroke and never got a long run in longer than 16 miles. i figured "hey ive done a marathon before, i can do it again". false. you still need to train. this marathon provided a personal worst. recap here. 4:43:30. are you joking me 17 seconds?! damn you elizabeth and your jello shots at mile 25.
i know i can run a marathon faster than that. i did sugarloaf in 4:15:25. i even had a week of training where i logged ZERO miles. (seriously, who does that?! oh yeah, me.)
so here i am. a little over 10 weeks into training, a little over 8 weeks left to go. lets really look at what the hell is going on.
what the book says/what ive actually done:
week 1: 33 miles/18.6
week 2: 36 miles/27.2
week 3: 40 miles/10
week 4: 42 miles/ 22.25
week 5: 45 miles/19.56
week 6: 37 miles/36.12
week 7: 50 miles/4.45
week 8: 54 miles/13.1
week 9: 48 miles/12
total should be: 385 miles
total really is: 163.28 miles
longest run should be: 20 miles
longest run really is: 16 miles
w.t.F. seriously. how are those 50 mile weeks treating me?
i just feel deflated. i guess a 4.45 mile week is better than a 0 mile week, but still. a lot of my runs have gone really really good, and many have gone really bad. i know i have speed, i just lack the endurance to use that speed for 3 hours and 59 minutes.
im not going to quit reaching for this goal. july was the hardest month i think ive ever had. life absolutely threw me curve ball after curve ball. God surely tested me, and i felt knocked down. but im gonna get back up. im not going to quit. will i get my sub 4 hour marathon goal? we'll see. am i upset with the way my training is going? yes. do i hold anyone else accountable except myself? no.
pain is temporary. quit is forever. regardless of what happens ill still know that on october 2nd i will again accomplish something that not everyone can say they've done. and for that i will be grateful.