henrys birth story- part 1- at least my nails were painted

i started writing this weeks ago, but every time i go to write more i either have a needy little baby wanting to eat or be changed and/or i cant stop crying remembering it all. it all seems kinda surreal, maybe almost even like a dream. 9 plus months leading up to the delivery of our son, it feels like it all happened in the blink of an eye... and just like that he is over a week old. what?! how is this possible?! im not going to downplay what i (we) went through of the past few weeks because there were some intense moments, but honestly i feel like the stork brought him to us.

source

i think we had some crazy thoughts about how hectic and chaotic labor and delivery was going to be, but (for the most part) everything flowed very smoothly. i feel blessed to have had such a great experience and the support from my nurses and incredible husband & family was unbelievable.

but before i get to the actual L&D part of henrys story, theres a bit more to talk about that i havent said much (if anything) about thus far...

at our 28 week appointment we had an ultrasound that showed slight enlargement of one of the babys kidneys. they werent too concerned with it, but of course it worried us (although if you google enlarge kidneys 28 week ultrasound it appears they tell this to everyone). they decided to track it but and at the next ultrasound found it looked a little better so we didnt have another check until 36 weeks. at that ultrasound they saw a much greater enlargement of both kidneys, the bladder, and dilation of both ureters leading from the kidneys to the bladder. we were set up to have a high risk ultrasound the following monday, and my doctor said if necessary she would induce me to get the baby out. so that monday came and ty and i headed out early, with our hospital bags packed just in case, and stopped at holy donut for breakfast. mmmmmm donuts (there should be no surprise why I gained 38lbs hehe). i had also painted my nails that am incase i had to be induced after the appointment.

the ultrasound itself was nothing really different than a regular one but you could see a lot more detail... she even showed us a full head of hair! she looked the baby all over and took tons of blood flow videos and measurements, then went to get the doctor. he came in and explained that the kidneys, bladder, and ureters were indeed enlarged/dilated but that it was most likely just kidney reflux, and in most cases would fix itself. baby would just need to have an ultrasound once delivered, and i wouldnt need to be induced (bummer, i was kinda ready to be done). he then said he wanted to take another look at the baby himself and started his own ultrasound, this time focusing only on the babys heart, not even looking at the kidneys. ty was sitting next to me and i looked at him and grabbed his hand and together we just watched the doctor look through all angles of the babys strong beating heart on the monitor. it seemed like hours before the doctor finished and cleaned my belly off. i sat up and he said something that no mother ever wants to hear about their child...

 "your baby has a hole in its heart."

for a moment the whole room went blurry. i stared straight at the doctor, i felt like i was frozen. tears immediately filled my eyes and the nurse handed me tissues. ty thankfully did all of the talking and asked what that meant. the doctor explained that all babies are born with two natural holes in their heart that close after birth in order to help bring oxygenated blood flow to their organs since their lungs dont work properly yet. those holes are in the upper part of the heart, this hole was a third hole, down in the ventricular wall. it wasnt supposed to be there. i waited for him to say "its no big deal, it most likely will fix on its own". instead he told us that we would need to go and meet with the pediatric cardiologist who would do another ultrasound. we were certainly not prepared to hear all of this, we came here to check on the kidneys! luckily we were able to get in to see the cardiologist within the next hour and a half (as opposed to a week which the doctor had mentioned it might take up to). i attempted to call my mom which just ended in me sobbing, i cried the whole way home and then took a shower, wishing this was all a bad dream.

when we got to the cardiologist we realized this was our reality as we watched the doctor ultrasound the babys heart and point out where the blood flow was, showing us the blood flow back and forth through a small hole between the left and right ventricle.

the doctors explanation to us about how the babys heart works

a "small muscular Ventricular (between the ventricles) Septal (wall) Defect (hole)

the DA and FO are there normally.

a VSD is not.

after explaining everything to us (a lot of which i cant recall, i was still in such a cloud) the doctor said "in 95% of these cases this hole will close up and be a non issue." i certainly heard that, and those words couldnt have sounded sweeter. i wanted to give this little irish man a hug! of course we were still worried but that gave us a huge sense of relief. he said they would do an echo once the baby was born and get more info at that time. we then went directly to my doctors office and she confirmed i didnt have to be induced, but it was at this appointment that it was noted that i was losing weight and my belly wasnt growing (my pregnancy had been so non complicated up until this point and it now seemed like everything was happening all at once....)

we were scheduled weekly ultrasounds til the end- the next to check the kidneys (week 38), the following to check my growth and babys weight (week 39). if anything looked alarming at either of those, i would be induced. i really just wanted this little one out so i could comfort it and take care of it. i felt so helpless, despite knowing i was its lifeline. overall the news we heard from the high risk ultrasound was the best of the worst so to speak, but we figured we might have a long road ahead of us...

...and to think, that morning all i was worried about was that my nails were painted.

"...dont you worry, dont you worry child... see heavens got a plan for you..."

henry's first week

i cant believe how fast time goes by and that henry is already a week old! (a week and a half almost now that  i still havent finished this blog post... things take a lot longer to get done these days!) it seems like just yesterday we went to the hospital, and now were one big happy, furry, sleep deprived family! i wouldnt want it any other way... we are so in love with our little man and every day brings something new.

im still working on henrys birth story... i cant seem to get through writing a paragraph without crying (not to mention reading everyone elses birth stories who recently had babies and reliving it all over again... hello crazy hormones). i will say that henrys delivery was wonderful. we had a great experience overall (minus the back labor, ouch). and despite being in pre labor/labor for over 24 hours, it seemed like it all happened in 5 minutes. we are so greatful for all the wonderful care we were given at the hospital from the doctors, residents, and nurses, and the support we got from our family and friends. (ahhh, ok im gonna cry again... lets get to some fun pics!)

our first week was busy to say the least. tys parents stayed with us at the house to help out with adjusting to our new "normal"... it was nice we didnt have to worry about the food, cleaning, or pets (we didnt ignore them but just being able to focus on ourselves and henry made a world of difference). my parents were in and out, were so glad to have them close by! henrys god parents stayed with us the night after tys parents left and we had visitors in and out throughout the weekend (who all brought food! i think we wont need to grocery shop til henry goes to preshool... thank you!). once everyone left and things calmed down a little bit, ty and i just sat on the couch with henry, looked at each other and said "now what?!" a huge change for all of us, but we are adjusting well and henry is a really great baby (despite wanting to stay up all night and sleep all day... you got it way wrong kid!)

proud parents

snuggle time with mom

daddy is in love

grammy nappi

grampy nappi

grandpa sterling

grandma sterling

grandpa and grandma speckman

meeting uncle johnny

meeting uncle nate

getting compared to a medium DD coffee...

and a large italian sandwich from tonys store

meeting uncle josh and aunt meghan

"meeting" brother duke and sister chips

heading home!

god parents rachel and brayden

semi enjoying his first bath

...we'll figure it out someday

this is surely one crazy awesome incredible journey we've been on and cant wait to see our little man grow up (not too fast though please!)

its a BOY!

due date!

how far along? 40 weeks
total weight gain: just over 35 pounds. im A-ok with that. now if i can just lose 30 during delivery....
babys size/development: on average the baby weighs over 7 pounds and is about the size of a small pumpkin. length is about 20 inches.
miss anything? although im sure ill miss some of the parts of being pregnant (im sure many of you are laughing at me right now), after 40 weeks i kinda do miss NOT being pregnant. it will certainly be an adjustment, thats for sure.
food cravings? hurry up and get here so i can eat all the sushi!
anything make you queasy or sick? nope
stretch marks? nope! im surprised i dont see the imprint of an oreo somewhere along my body though
gender? ???
names? i joked for about 10 seconds about naming it patrice bergeron
sleep: i havent been sleeping great but overall its not too bad. i think my mind is just racing and its hard to get to sleep. im up early every morning for no reason and just lay there. early morning walks have helped, and i slept in until almost 7am this morning which felt great. and afternoon naps are awesome, by the way.
nursery: ready and waiting...
wedding rings on or off? on
belly button in or out? its trying to pop out a little but its doing it in a weird way with just half of the side kinda coming out. hard to describe
movement? not as much as usual but theres not a whole lot of room for hanks squirming. every once in a while a foot will jut out the side. ill miss that.
labor signs? lots and lots of braxton hicks contractions... i feel like my stomach is rock hard all the time. some are more uncomfortable than others. nothing major though. lets get this show on the road! (and ive heard it all about how to induce labor... the spicy food just gave me heartburn, and i REFUSE to try castor oil. im not that uncomfortable!) upon opening up the "what to expect when you're expecting book" recently, i did notice that i am having pretty much every one of the "pre labor symptoms". so theres that... (and i have moved the hospital bags to the first floor)
daddy is feeling: "impatient"
mommy is feeling: ready
workouts this week: lots and lots of walking and house cleaning (11 miles, 1 miles of walking the stairs at my last day of work yesterday)
looking forward to: hmmmm ill give you one guess

hank update

just a quick update from tuesdays ultrasound-

hank looks to have gained a little bit of weight over the last two weeks, which is reassuring. when they measured at the high risk ultrasound during week 37, the weight was estimated at 6lbs 5oz... this week it was estimated at 6lbs 9oz. i didnt think this was a lot of weight gain for two weeks so i was sure they were going to induce me, but of course i was wrong. still pregnant over here. we met with my doctor after the ultrasound and she said im still 1cm, thick and high. clearly hank is comfy in there. i gained about a pound but my stomach is measuring 35 weeks. doctor doesnt seem concerned but she said that after next mondays ultrasound she will determine what should be done and figure out an induction date if i havent gone into natural labor by then (fingers crossed!). she doesnt want me to go past 41 weeks (which is may 26th), so im assuming my induction date will be before next weekend. eeeeeeeeeek!

im not uncomfortable (for the most part... although getting off the couch/out of bed is quite a chore) but were just really anxious and excited to meet this little one and get the next journey underway! my last day of work is saturday (everyone is surprised when i keep showing up... yes im still here, yes its annoying, yes i wish i was at home). we'll see if anything happens in the next two days...

the one with all the pics

we found out we were having a baby in august, the day after week 5. on weeks 7 and 9 i ran a marathon, and then i got pretty lazy and my oreo craving began haha. it really is crazy to look back at all the changes... (and you can see in my face/eyes just how tired i am now).

will i ever again run a marathon that is NOT in the rain?!

week 12 at cassies wedding... just before we told everyone

week 13 is by far my favorite pic out of them all (and i miss that body!)

week 16/18 is pretty much how i dressed this entire pregnancy. tys so lucky.

wow, my hair grew like a weed!

week 23-24 finally started to show

so. much. snow.

week 28 ran a 5k in florida, which pretty much ended my running (ouch)

week 33-34, stopped gaining weight/belly stopped growing

baby shower, red sox game, ended up in the hospital with dehydration. what a crazy couple of weeks!

ready.to.be.done!

hoping the next pic is with hank!

39 weeks

how far along? 39 weeks! wow. this really did go by fast, and its almost go time! will this be the last update??
total weight gain: at the last appointment my doc said the total was 34 pounds. i go again tomorrow for my 39 week appt, so we will see if i have gained any more. also i measured my belly around my back (belly button level) this am just for fun... 39 1/2 inches! its pretty much the height from the ground to my belly button. fun stuff.
babys size/development this week: a watermelon! and it sure feels that way too, especially trying to get off the couch or turn over in bed. ill find out the babys approximate weight tomorrow... which will actually be a determination of when hank might make his/her entrance into the world. two weeks ago at my 37 week appt they measured hank at approx 6lbs 4oz, and want to make sure that he/she is growing since i had stopped gaining weight and my belly had not seemed to be getting any bigger (despite me thinking i am getting huge!) so they will do all the measurements tomorrow and see if its time to get this show on the road or not.
miss anything? after cheering friends on at the maine coast marathon yesterday, its definitely confirmed that i miss running.
food cravings? i want suuuuuuushi. and a beer. or 6. and thanks to tiffany ive craved swiss cake rolls for about 2 weeks now (but thankfully havent given in... yet)
anything making you queasy or sick? lack of sleep
stretch marks? knock on wood, none.
gender: ??? we are SO anxious to find out! im glad we waited to find out though, the surprise is going to be awesome.
names: i was hoping to share the first letters and start a guessing game, but i think ty is in a meeting and hasnt given emailed me back to give me the ok, and ive had requests to get this blog posted. so i guess you'll all have to wait for the official announcement.
sleep: apparently preparing for the upcoming arrival... friday night i started having contractions 10 min apart at about 7pm. they literally lasted all night long, and i didnt fall asleep until 6:45am. i slept for maybe an hour or two and then was up all day, with no further contractions. 7pm sat night they started again and i thought great, i wont sleep again tonight. but they only continued for about an hour or so and i slept on and off sat night. i was exhausted yesterday, but slept straight thru for 8 hours last night without waking up. i have a half day or work today and hopefully will get some good sleep tonight, although im anxious about tomorrows appointment and when i lay down to sleep my mind just wont shut down.
best moment of the week: i had a really awesome mothers day... woke up to a very quiet/sleepy house and spent an hour in the morning making brownies and hanging out with the animals before ty and my in-laws woke up. my in laws got me (us) some plants and a tree and planted all morning. ty got me a beautiful alex & ani bracelet with the babys birthstone on it (heres to hoping hank doesnt make a june appearance!). then i headed to the marathon and watched my bff completely crush her marathon pr, so proud! then we spent the afternoon at my parents house and got seafood take out. (side note: i ran (ok walked) into a girl at the marathon finish line who said to me as i passed "hi! i read your blog!" i was so caught off guard i didnt know what to say and didnt get her name... who are you?! thanks for saying hi! i love meeting people! sorry i was so weird haha)

sarah/baby ty supporting me at llbean 10k 2010

me/baby hank supporting sarah at maine coast marathon 2013

nursery: collecting dust.... hurry up hank!
wedding rings on or off? on and off... one hot day last week my fingers and ankles were a bit swollen but that goes down quickly and my rings fit again. i doubt ill wear them much this week and during delivery... whenever that may be!
belly button in or out? still in.
movement? much less than usual, but still trying to swim around in there where theres room. this also keeps me up at night... not the movement, but lack of! i get nervous when i havent felt anything for awhile so i wait and try to do things to make the baby move so i know its ok in there.
labor signs? mostly just the contractions that ended up being nothing. dumb. but im hoping all of these contractions have dilated me some more! theres quite a bit more low pressure and some lower back pain too now that hank has moved further down (although i still dont feel like ive officially "dropped").
daddy is feeling: he keeps asking when the baby is coming, and i keep replying with "tomorrow". eventually ill have to be right.
mommy is feeling: ready to just do this already. kinda nervous though. two of my friends had their babies yesterday and a text i got this am read: "i highly recommend the epidural". thanks lisa!
workouts this week: walking walking walking.
looking forward to: tomorrows doctors appointment! and of course the arrival of hank, hopefully this week. also looking forward to the arrival of more babies in the upcoming days/weeks... friends amanda and lisa had their little ones yesterday (jealous, by the way!), and heather and tiffany are both due this week as well!

getting ready

were officially in single digits to the due date... how is that even possible?! other than a few contractions here and there, i really dont feel like ill be going into labor any time soon. ive been 1cm dilated for two weeks... hoping for some more at tuesdays appointment, but we'll see. isnt that what these braxton hicks contractions are supposed to be doing? luckily the weather has been really nice here, so ive been doing a lot of walking (note: i said walking not waddling... other than the occasional jab and ping "down there", im actually pretty comfortable. i almost want to try to run just to see haha).

so with little time left and no idea when this is actually all going to happen, we've been trying to get things ready. and by "we've" you all know what i mean (love ya ty!). no but really, hes been great... its just that i have more time on my days off to clean ALL THE THINGS. and i love doing it. nesting at its finest. nursery is clean and all set up to go. the spare bedroom for guests is clean (minus the closet, ive given up on that. resorting to never opening the doors again. also dont look under the bed...). our bedroom... is off limits to all. at least the bed is made and clothes are folded (laundry seems to be endless). downstairs is clean and presentable, dog hair is an issue every day that we try to keep on top of. windows have been windexed, the lawn is mowed. alright baby, lets get this show on the road!

whats in my hospital bag?

-toiletries/make up bag (sure, i dont usually wear make up on any regular day but i figure after giving birth ill look like hell and people will probably come to visit and want to take pics. ill need to do something... and by "make up" i mean face lotion, eye shadow, and mascara. ha.)
-sweatpants. duh.
-chapstick
-lotion
-yoga pants (was going to pack my white sweatpants but thought better of that thinking about whats going to be happening... brough my black yoga pants instead)
-hooded zip up sweatshirt
-compression socks
-tshirt/baggy tank top
-nursing bra, lanolin, nursing pads (ive decided against bringing the nursing pillow)
-baby book (for hand/foot prints)
-camera
-phone charger
-my own pillow
-shape magazine
-flip flops/maybe my slippers (not sure yet)

ive taken the "less is more" approach i think, and can always send someone to get things if i forgot something or need anything... were only 5 miles from the hospital.

whats in hanks hospital bag?
everything! haha... i didnt know what i want him/her to wear so i packed about 20 little onesies/outfits. about 5 hats. socks. we also brought a few of our diapers, a swaddle blanket and a fleece baby blanket. and of course we have the car seat in the car.

whats in ty's hospital bag?

no idea. hes a big boy, im sure its fine (who are we kidding, ill check later im sure). i know his ipad and phone charger will be in there. we also packed a snack bag with some goldfish, mints, beef jerky, gum, and trail mix. he'll be fine.

and a few random things you might not know:

-were going to use cloth diapers. we've gotten gdiapers and bum genius products to start, and will go from there. yes, this will be a huge commitment. were ok with that (for now... i think...). we still have regular diapers for back up/nighttime/travel.

-my insurance paid for a medela double breast pump system. i have no idea what im doing/how to use it, but will figure that out. im not one of those "omgimSOexcitedtobreastfeed" women... but i know it is best for baby, will be helpful for me post baby, and im hoping it all works out.

-we got tommee tippee bottles for the transition. there are so many choices out there and ive heard good things about a bunch, we'll see how these work and go from there.

-once the time comes, we will be using the baby bullet system and making our own baby food (for the most part).

-and this gem arrived the other day... i cant wait to use it!!