hey, its OK

hey, its OK...

... to steal this idea without asking (...christy... hi!)

... to listen to the new goo goo dolls song on repeat. so many times. "alive is all i wanna feel tonight..."

... to knowingly make the wrong decision/do things you know arent "right".

... to cry at the gym. or at work. dumb pregnancy hormones.

... to send gifts, cards, support (etc) to people youve never met.

... to drink too much coffee.

... to have way too many articles of vera bradley

(plus a lunch box that matches the checkbook cover. ridiculous)

... to have a bunch of boxes full of crap you dont even know whats in them but refuse to go thru/clean out.

... to feel totally, completely, utterly overwhelmed.

... to listen to many acapella versions of your favorite songs

... to have 5 different flavors of vodka in your liquor cabinet... and not really even like vodka all that much.

... to not yet be done reading all 7 harry potter books (still midway thru book 5)

... to ask for help.

... to group text pictures of cats on a daily basis.

... this, for a coworker/someone you know/anyone (although its probably me haha):

... to have ice cream for dinner.

... to screen your phone calls....

... and not listen to voice mails. for days.

... to put things on your to-do list that youve already done just to feel the accomplishment of crossing them off.

... to forget youre wearing your slippers when you leave the house for your doctors appointment.

... to leave clean laundry in the dryer for a couple of days.

... to eat a ham & cheese sandwich when youre pregnant without heating up the meat (much to the husbands discouragement)

... to have gone over 7 months into pregnancy without eating a pickle.

... to learn some things the hard way.

... to have regrets.

... to get over it.

32 weeks

how far along? 32 weeks
total weight gain: 30 pounds. no weight gain this week. but i dont suggest to any pregnant woman to try on their pre-pregnancy "fat" jeans at 32 weeks "just to see" if they fit. 

babys size/development this week: "by now your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a jicama)"... a what?!? seriously. almost four pounds. growing growing growing. 

maternity clothes: ty ordered two tops from old navy which should get here this week. will be looking this week for something to wear for my baby shower (maybe i should have asked for a pajama party!). and i did find a bunch of baby clothes at the consignment store, including this for ty (well not for ty)- 

miss anything? that "i feel really awesome/this pregnancy is great" feeling. come back!

movement? yup, constantly.

food cravings? not really, but i made an amazing banana/blueberry/almond milk/kale smoothie the other day, which im not obsessed with. yum!

anything making you queasy or sick? washing the dishes friday morning made me want to gag (mostly tys salad container... balsamic vinegar dressing apparently). 
sleep: sleep? what is that? for maybe one of the first times during this pregnancy, i slept like crap thursday night. and then again friday night. oh, add saturday to that list as well (although a little more than the previous two nights). i am usually ready for bed at 8pm (or earlier!) and im asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. thursday i tossed and turned and watched the clock until midnight! friday i saw 1:30am, and was awake off and on til i got out of bed at 6am. awful. last night was a little better but i need a good nights rest here again at some point.

best moment of the week: tension relief foot soak and head/neck/shoulder massage at soakology on friday. i had gotten a gift certificate from my mom for xmas and i surely needed it. i dont know what she was doing to my shoulders but holy cow i could feel that i was tight. surely i hold all my stress and tension there. (not to mention my posture is horrible, which im sure doesnt help. add on an extra 30 pounds, not being able to run...)

weird pregnancy thing of the week: i guess its not so much weird as it is just truly miraculous but the constant movement just kinda makes me feel funny. i know its amazing what my body is doing... and i cant wait to meet him/her but when i start to think too much about whats really going on it just boggles my mind and makes me feel kinda sick to my stomach every now and then. as much as i dont want to go into labor today with this very little miracle, im ready for it to be may. ive really enjoyed being pregnant for the most part... however i do not want to do this again for a while, and i wish pregnancy only lasted 7 months haha.
nursery: i cleaned! i cleaned! (just dont look in the dresser drawers yet...)

still not 100% sold on the green curtains... i might buy yellow and see if i like them better

names: oh i just want to tell the wooooooorrrrllllddd!!!! i also want to monogram everything (which is weird cuz im really not a monogram person), but since i dont know if we have a hank or a hankerella, its all gonna have to wait. unless of course we decide at my 36 week ultrasound to just have them tell us what he/she is.... hmmmmm (yes we've talked about this, no were not doing it)

wedding rings on or off? on, but they definitely feel a little tighter when i wake up in the morning, despite feeling severely dehydrated every am

mood: my mood this week was much better than it has been (i obviously wrote that before the whole sleep deprivation thing). although my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place, ive really come to realize i do not know what the future holds for our lives, our sanity, my body, etc... whatever happens will happen. and i need to accept it all and be willing to make sacrifices. my life isnt all about me anymore.

daddy is feeling: "ty how is daddy feeling this week?" "good!" "youre so lame." "sorry."

workouts this week: got in some quality bike miles this week which made me feel good, including a 22 mile ride on day 1 of march madness. helps the time go by, thats for sure. 

looking forward to: lots of maple syrup today (maine maple sunday!), day off and doctors appointment tomorrow (always love hearing the heart beat)

house makeover projects

in june 2011 we moved into our first home. excited doesnt even begin to describe how we felt... apartment living was getting old (not to mention crowded) and since we were married and all we thought we might want to start gaining equity instead of just throwing money away every month (granted our rent was a LOT less expensive, but anyway...)

house hunting was a scary, frustrating, and strange experience as neither of us had done it before (nor do i want to really do it again, but i know we will eventually...) and its tough when your husband is 6'7" and doesnt fit into many of the houses we looked at.

5 different houses

but eventually we found one... was it perfect? no. but it was perfect for what we needed/wanted at the time, and will work for us (and our rapidly growing family) for the next few years. when we moved in it was a shell, which was great since we could pretty much do what we wanted (for the most part). but ill fill you in on a little secret: a brand spankin new house doesnt come without its issues. ill just leave it at that. (dont worry, nothing major. but nothings perfect, despite its newness).

there are many things that we have done to make the house our "home", but i feel like we have a lot more to do. i am not willing to put a ton of money into this house since we wont be here forever, but i feel that what we have done will help it sell in the future to a family like ours looking for a good starter home in a nice neighborhood.

we started by staining the deck white, growing grass, and planting

we added a deck... so as not to have a death trap when opening the back door

stainless steel appliances and over the island lights
(i really wish our cabinets were white but the painting is just too much)

downstairs bathroom paint

upstairs bathroom paint and cabinet stain

and of course my favorite... office turned nursery

the whole house is/was painted that brown tan color and im sick of it everywhere. (minus the master bedroom, which was painted when we moved in... not really sure why, but oh well. i like it)

there are many more things i want to do (sooner rather than later) but i know we will be slightly busy this summer so we'll see when (if) things get done. (anyone willing to come help? ill bake, you work hehe) pinterest is terrible and keeps giving me more and more ideas (that typically arent cheap). 

wish list: 

- a fence for the backyard

-staining the back deck/restaining the front porch (i want the back deck to be white like the front, ty doesnt... ill win? i just think it will look nicer/match...)
- gutters (never knew how much they really help... til we both go out on the deck and almost slip and fall when the dropping water turns to ice every morning) (and who builds a house without gutters?! ugh)

- paint the upstairs hallway (again, boring brown tan... so sick of it)

- redo the whole guest room (ugh, its a MESS)

- add a living room entertainment center with bookcases

something like this

and then theres the basement. dont even get me started... id actually like someone to just come and just empty the whole thing. i havent gone through most of the stuff down there since we moved in, clearly i dont need any of it! oh which reminds me, i want to do something with the laundry section of the basement. shelves or something. ty has his work cut out for him... ive done this whole "growing a human thing" for 7+ months now, he can do all the housework!

31 weeks

happy st patricks day!

how far along? 31 weeks 1 day
total weight gain: approx three cases of beer im thinking.... mmmmm beer

babys size/development this week: measuring over 16 inches long, approx 3.3 pounds (the weight of 4 naval oranges)

maternity clothes: bought a new pair of scrubs the other day and ty ordered me a tank top and tshirt for hopefully some warmer weather (after this weeks dumb snow storm coming tomorrow. wtf.)

sleep: still sleeping pretty good but i feel more tired during the day. also leg cramps woke me up early this am... those really suck

miss anything? i pretty much miss everything i cant do right now, as simple as comfortably walking around and not peeing every 5 minutes

movement? moving all the time. i love it.

food cravings? the other day i had a craving for fettucini alfredo... i didnt get it and i didnt die from not getting it (but i still want it... hmmmm maybe dinner tonight haha)

anything making you queasy or sick? nah

best moment of the week: we had our birthing class at the hospital on saturday... much of it was pretty obvious stuff but i liked hearing about the meds and taking the tour. 

weird pregnancy thing of the week: i almost passed out during rounds at work last week so that was exciting. 

nursery: alright im really going to (try to) clean in there this week... 

names: everyone wants to know!

wedding rings on or off? on

mood: i feel pretty run down, but some days are better than others. im not entirely ready for the baby to be here right now but i sometimes wish pregnancy was only 8 months instead of 9 (or really 10). up until this point (or a few weeks ago id say) i was all into this whole being pregnant thing. i still like it but im ready for the next stage.

daddy is feeling: he says he is excited... was very into the birthing class (other than the videos). at one point he turned to me and said "this looks so awesome, good luck". haha, so supportive!

workouts this week: on paper i had a pretty good week last week of working out, but since my doctors appointment ive been put on a semi exercise restriction due to a soft cervix and pelvic pain (limiting to 30 minutes of walking/upright exercising 3 days a week). i can still bike which is good. biking: 34 miles, walking 3.5 miles, ran 1 mile, stairmaster: 1.5 miles

looking forward to: hopefully this being the last week of snow, warmer weather, march madness (!!!!) and maine maple sunday this weekend!

30 weeks

how far along? 30 weeks
total weight gain: getting close to 30lbs. whatever. (fun fact: a girl at work just came back from maternity leave and told me she lost 26 pounds just delivering/before leaving the hospital... so im hanging onto that hope for myself!)

babys size/development this week: measures about 16 inches in length, weighs just over 3 pounds, about the size of a head of cabbage. if hank were to be born today (lets hope not, we still dont have a car seat!) he/she can breathe, see, listen, remember, and learn.

maternity clothes: im just going to resort myself to sweatpants and an oversized hoodie i have from college. ty thinks im so sexy im sure. (havent bought any new maternity clothes, but i have the day off today and tomorrow so that could very well change)

sleep: knock on wood im still sleeping through the night... however this past week ive woken up every night between 1am and 1:30am. i can fall right back asleep but i just open my eyes and look at the clock and its always during that half hour. im thinking its hanks way of saying this will be the time im born and will always wake up hungry once im here. and today i slept til 8am. so awesome.
miss anything? where should i start... 

movement? crazy movement all the time, especially now that hank is getting bigger. my new fun thing to do is lay on the couch next to ty and just watch my stomach. cant quite pick out what body parts are moving but my stomach will be all stuck out on one side and then you can literally watch it move. music still makes hank dance all around.

food cravings? nothing new, but im happy im over the whole oreo obsession.

anything making you queasy or sick? i dont know what it is but since last wednesday i have not felt well every morning. continuous nausea and exhaustion. wasnt this supposed to happen a long time ago? i want to feel good now!

best moment of the week: buy one get one blizzards that the 4th floor nurses coordinated yesterday at work.... and dr sherman bought mine. win. got my haircut for the first time since last june (hello haircut anxiety at its finest). also got the bathroom painted (before/after pics will come once its totally done). i love it! and in the process i found out something i never knew about ty...

apparently not a professional painter.

weird pregnancy thing of the week: without going into great detail, ill just say that walking/ running/ exercising is becoming quite uncomfortable due to my pelvis adjusting. i thought they were contractions at first but now that ive reached out to my good friend google, ive learned a little more about what is really going on. i guess i should probably start reading "what to expect when expecting" again. 

also, this:

seems like a good use of $30 to me
(seriously?!)

nursery: got the decal on the wall and we love it! going to hang the first initial in the middle (babies r us has white lettering that will match the crib nicely) but we will have to wait to buy it/hang it until we know if hank is a girl or a boy! (the names we have do not start with the same letter)

names: speaking of names... we asked the god parents if they would in fact be hanks godparents a few weeks ago (of course they said yes, why wouldnt they! we may or may not have had to bribe them) and then we told them the names. at first they didnt want all the pressure of being the only people knowing the name, but we had to get it off our chest! they seemed to like the names we picked out (probably scared we would take away god parent-ship rights)

wedding rings on or off? on

mood: because of not feeling well i just feel blah. i hate being a downer and feel bad that i just kinda lay around now saying "i dont feel good" while ty takes the dog out and tries to be sympathetic to my needs. i want to enjoy these last 10 weeks with me and him before our world turns upside down. im trying.

daddy is feeling: apparently has a lot of work to do today so hasnt answered my text about how he is really feeling, so..... hes so excited for the baby and loves my lazy/sickly days and waiting on me hand and foot. has thoroughly enjoyed me giving him shit about not being able to paint properly, loves to hear my complain in general, and is overall happy.

workouts this week: on paper it looks like i had a pretty good week exercise wise, but i felt like junk which really frustrated me. i was able to workout 5 days, one of which was outside in shortsleeves and capris! (finally a weekend with no snow!) 11.1 miles walked, 10 miles on the elliptical, 12 miles biked. i tried to do some running saturday and i was in too much pain and ended up just walking. 

looking forward to: warmer weather and getting a pre natal massage soon

29 weeks

how far along? 29 weeks, 11 weeks to go (potentially 33 or less days of work...) crazy!

total weight gain: this 26 pound baby sure will make us some guiness world record publicity! 

babys size/development this week: at fridays doctors appointment/ultrasound, they said hank weighed 2 pounds 12 oz! (sadly that means the other 23 pounds is from... oops). approx size of a butternut squash... finally a piece of food i know! baby is breach right now but theres still time (and hopefully still space!) to turn.

maternity clothes: nothing new but im not wearing much of my regular clothes anymore (other than yoga pants/sweat pants). but i did wear my bikini in florida. i cant wait for summer and getting back into my regular clothes.

sleep: rolling from side to side a little more than before but have yet to be up to pee (knock on wood)

miss anything? i long for just one day without back pain.   

movement? still a lot of movement all the time. lots of braxton hicks contractions (i feel like im in BH more than not), some minor real contractions (maybe once a day if that). i love when little legs or arms get stuck in one position and i can feel them... cant wait to hold the little one!

food cravings? i want to eat ALL THE FRUIT! omg, cant get enough. hooked on fresh pineapple, red grapes and strawberries. and i just found a recipe for a pina colada smoothie. mmmmmm (side note: made it today, didnt taste much like a pina colada but was a good nutrient packed smoothie)

anything making you queasy or sick? ty opened up a bag of beef jerky around me and i thought i might vomit. thats a first since i used to love that stuff (gross but true) 

best moment of the week: sitting out in the florida sun felt great. 

weird pregnancy thing of the week: other than the tingling feet during my run (doctor says its most likely due to the increased blood volume/fluids in the body) nothing else weird going on. i have always thought that the 3D ultrasounds were pretty creepy and ty and i had decided we werent going to get one done. well at fridays US, out of no where the tech just put up a 3D image on the screen without saying anything. tears immediately started flowing... im so in love. guess it feels different when its your own (and for some reason i now kinda think it might be a girl when all along ive thought hank was a boy!)

looks so peaceful... and is that hair?

nursery: gotta get that room cleaned up here sometime soon. also got a wall decal today while out shopping, ill take a pic once we get it up on the wall!

wedding rings on or off? on

belly button ring: getting ready to take it out. sad.

mood: last week was actually a mix of good feelings and blah feelings. my back hurts every day and made me pretty uncomfortable throughout vacation. but then yesterday was one of the best days ive had in a long time... felt like i had a lot of energy, my clothes didnt feel uncomfortable (minus still itchy from the heat rash/allergic reaction), had a good day at work (and didnt eat allllll day haha).

daddy is feeling: probably stressed out since now i want to paint the bathroom... add it to the list of projects! (but hes agreed hehe)

workouts this week: lame lame lame. walked twice in florida and went for a long snowshoeing walk this am. 

looking forward to: getting back to the gym with sarah this week, hopefully trying to keep with the 1 pound a week 3rd trimester thing. also excited (weird) for 4am track workouts this summer... speaking of which, some kid was out on the track today when sarah and i drove by shoveling a lane! someone else is a bit more motivated than i am haha but once its cleared i just might have to head on over for some laps!

baby running info:
now that the 3rd trimester has started, i figured i would look back and see how i did in the first 6 months (now that im really not going to be running much til the baby comes). definitely have slowed down a lot and the 2nd trimester took a big hit in the miles, but i still think ive done well and at least havent sat on the couch eating oreos the entire 6 months haha.

1st trimester
miles run: 286.79
races: lobsterman triathlon (10k), smuttynose marathon, mdi marathon, turkey trot 5k, thanksgiving day 4 miler, operation jack 10k

2nd trimester
miles run: 158.95
races: gasparilla 5k

i have no more races planned (yet) for the remainder of the pregnancy, and will hopefully start running again as soon as i safely can once the baby is born. MDI training (18 week plan) is supposed to start 4 weeks after my due date which i know is probably not do-able so im looking to do more of a modified 14 week(ish) plan, starting with walking during the first few weeks. we'll see how things turn out, im just really hoping to be able to come back and get strong again!

gasparilla 5k

for the first time in quite a while im actually writing a blog about running (well kinda running) and not about pregnancy (well kinda not about pregnancy). crazy, i know. (dont get used to it, not much else is going to probably be on here between now and may haha)

this past week we headed off to sunny/warm/snow-less florida for a week away with some good friends. were sad that krystle and jared live so far away now but im not going to complain about being able to go visit! krystle had nicely found a 5k for us to run while we were there so that we werent too lazy (read: so that the boys didnt just drink every day... which somehow didnt work out as we had planned) and of course i jumped right on board with this idea (back when it was discussed/decided in november... when i was still able to run 3 miles. oof).

i even bought a run running top for the race!

apparently this whole gasparilla thing down in tampa is a huge month long ordeal with pirates or something... and that showed in this 5k. 11,635 people ran it. ?!?!?! i have never run such a crowded 5k before, thats for sure. and the race was split up into two start times, 9am for those predicting under 35 minute finishing time, and a 9:45 start for those over that. still the start was very crowded, and made finding any sort of groove almost impossible. there were also pacers which i have never seen at a 5k before. interesting. and we got pirate medals which was sweeeeet. arrrrrgh!

a brightly colored crew

before we left the house i tried to tell the boys that it wasnt cool to wear the race shirts to the race. but when we got to the race, EVERYONE was wearing them. i guess i missed the memo. (dont worry, i still wouldnt have done it).

my run a few days before this race back here in maine was windy and about 28 degrees, so the humidity and temps in the 70's on race day... although more desirable than the cold... was not what i was used to. i think i was sweating before i even started running. sexy.

but at least  i  we looked cute hehe

i had told ty right before the start that i would run with him (i wasnt feeling like i really wanted to try to run fast... haha, fast), but he said for me to just do my best and would see me at the end (sercretly i wanted to make sure i still beat him hehe). as we started off through the start line, i was already weaving in and out of people walking (we started pretty far back in the crowd). i was up on the sidewalk, trying to maintain a good pace but not get out of breath too early. within the first two minutes we were climbing up a small draw bridge with a grate on it... i hate grates! i avoid them on sidewalks whenever im running, and there was no way to avoid this bridge! it was wobbly and i hated every second of it, but after the bridge the rest of the race was flat with an out and back turn around course. the first mile seemed to go by fast but already i could feel my feet were starting to hurt, and i wasnt all too excited about that.

at about the 1.5 mile mark, the sun came out. and it. got. HOT. there was no shade, there were so many people, and i didnt have any water with me. my feet had pretty much gone numb and my lower legs were tingling (something i hadnt felt before). i thought that this was due to the different type of road/hard concrete and attempted to just walk a little/stretch it. walking was a joke and i felt like my feet didnt want to work anymore so i just said screw it and kept trying to run (slowing down a lot). a water stop came just after the turn around and i took a few sips and dumped the rest over my forehead/back of my neck. that felt heavenly.

brayden came up next to me at the water stop to see how i was doing and then went ahead. i didnt even try to keep up with him... i knew i was going to cut it close to the 30 minute mark i was shooting for, but at that point (like i did when i ran mdi marathon in october) i knew i needed to make sure i was staying focused on keeping myself and the baby safe as opposed to some time goal, wanting to run more, etc. my feet hurt bad, my stomach was so tight and also feeling tingly (BH contractions at its finest), and although i could see the finish line ahead, i just kept things slow until i crossed the finish line.


time: 30:50
2,664 out of 11,635 (hey top 22%, not too bad haha)
893 out of 6852 women (13%)

side note/fun fact: there are 117 pages of results online just for the 5k, and the last person to finish (71 years old) had a time of 3:39:42. like i said, this was a race full of things i have never seen before! very fun though and i wish i could have done all four races (5k, 8k, 15k, and half!) everyone had a great time (i think!) but no one wanted to go running again while we were there (and the drinking continued).

post race beers, yummmm

sadly i was beerless

but i got a few high fives for my tshirt!

yay medals!

21st 5k

82nd lifetime race