i'm out.

back in december i posted my 2012 race schedule (along with a pretty classy wedding photo... not talking about the royal wedding, although one of those is in there too).

anyway, that race schedule has 6 races on it. not one of those is a marathon. if you know me and have been following along for the last few years, thats probably a surprise to some of you. and to be honest, i even surprised myself.

ive gone back and forth about what i want to do in terms of my running... races, training, simple enjoyment. ive seemed to have lost that feeling... just putting on the sneakers and heading out the door. ive been training for marathons since 2009. i just.need.a.break.

thats not to say i already dont miss it. my original idea was to do either shamrock or national marathon, and training would have started pretty much now. then i decided to take a year off. then i changed my mind and decided to do sugarloaf in may. but the more i looked into training plans and sneakers and and and.... i couldnt commit. my mind is only half into it, and it needs to be 110% into it. my body tells me daily through the minor aches and pains that its had enough (for now), yet ive continued to ignore it day after day.

i want to run marathons again (yes, pleural). i want to run them strong and FAST. the sub four will be mine, one day. but not today. and not this year. i have a list of marathons that i want to complete someday, and i know in my heart i will make sure it happens. my husband, although he doesnt fully comprehend how/why i love running so much, is extremely supportive and i couldnt ask for anything more than that (he spends his money on expensive golf stuff and whiskey, ill spend my money on sneakers and races. and bud light, of course).

so all that being said, i made another big decision this week:

i pulled my application for the 2012 nyc marathon.

last year was the last year you could enter into the "if you dont get picked for 3 years in a row you are automatically guaranteed entry into the 4th year", and i did that. i had to enter this year to keep that open. so i did. then i thought more about it.

do i really have a good chance of getting in this year? no. but is it possible that i would get picked? yes. and this being the year that im not doing any marathons, chances are i would be picked just because i dont want to be.

if i got picked to run the marathon this year and i couldnt run it, i could defer it and be automatically in for next year! sweet, right? think again: the price this year to run the marathon (just to step foot on the starting line, run for 4 hours (well, 3:59:59 obviously), get your pic taken (smile!) and get a medal and maybe some bananas... $255. yes you read that right, no i didnt put the decimal place in the wrong spot. so if i got picked, and had to defer for some reason, i would PAY the $255, this april, and NOT run. and then next year, where im guaranteed to get in, i would pay $255 (or probably more im sure) AGAIN. so it would be $510. for bananas.

throw in there that i live 6 hours away, so i would have to drive. gas in november of 2013 will probably be like $5/gallon. do i know anyone that lives in nyc? um... susan? could i stay with you? who knows. so a hotel it is.  $$$$$$$$$

with things that are going on right now in the way of money, i think the chance that i would have to pay $510 just to run ONE marathon is absurd. then i thought, well maybe i should take the chance and really hope i dont get it... ill only have to pay $255 next year or the year after to run it. (yes, i actually tried to rationalize this!).

please compare with me:
sugarloaf marathon: $60
maine marathon: $65
mount desert island marathon: $90

total for ALL THREE: $215

give me a break, nyc. when i put it in perspective, ill run around nyc someday when i go to visit. for free. i emailed 3 people at ny road runners and made a phone call and hadnt heard back so i figured there was no way they were going to take me out of the drawing. but alas, i got an email last night.

i'm out. for this year, and for the "hope" of getting in for 2014. for the sake of my bank account, im just fine with that.